Monday, November 01, 2004

 

Halloween part II- The Dream Warrior

So, on too the not-so-subtle influence of cheese on the evening's proceedings...

Basically, it's a well-known half-truth that cheese before bed gives you nightmares. The closest I've heard to a scientific fact based on this is that, due to the difficulty the body experiences digesting cheese, your sleep can become quite fitful.

Well, six and a half hours of cheese and horror flicks were more than capable of messing up my night's sleep- I woke up several times, with a taste like tin on the back of my tongue and I had all sorts of weird and wonderful dreams.

This one was the best...

It appeared that I was a knight errant, on horseback, in the courtyard of a wonderful castle. However, all was not well: an angry Dragon was laying siege to the castle and the knights of the kingdom were trotting out to do battle with the foul beast, one at a time. If you're thinking that this sounds like a grave tactical error, you'd be right.

I don't know how the batting order was being decided, but the guy before me (Sir Gideon the Flammable, or something) met an excruciating and premature end, so it was my turn to have a go at the monster. As I came over the drawbridge, the Dragon roared angrily and reared up on its hind legs.

This was a big Dragon.

So big, in fact, that when it reared up, its head touched the Moon. According to my research, that means that the Dragon was at least 239,000 miles long. I suddenly began to feel that this wasn't going to be an entirely fair fight.

So, the Dragon arched its back, then swooped down towards me, like- well, like an impossibly huge Dragon descending rapidly from above. This was a truly magnificent sight. So magnificent, in fact, that I decided to get the hell out of the way.

This proved a wise move on my part: the Dragon's head smashed down into the castle, reducing the building to what looked rather like a huge pile of baking powder and presumably killing all of the knights and maidens within.

I was fortunate enough to wake up before the Dragon caught up with me.

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