Thursday, November 04, 2004

 

Oh joy...

It's official: the whole world's going to Hell in a handbasket. Therefore, I'm leaving.

I've been offered a job teaching English on the planet Sedna. The dominant species on Sedna is the Gurontia, a belligerent race of giant lizard men, whose defining characteristics are described by the Galactic Tourism Board's leaflet as "bad breath, insanity and cannibalism." I will be teaching classes of up to 6 warlords at a time.

Due to the vast time periods currently required for interplanetary travel, I will have to be cryogenically frozen for the trip to my new planet, so by the time I next update this blog, you will all be dead and so will your children's children.

Good night and God bless the United States of America.

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