Saturday, June 18, 2005

 

How to make droll retorts

This started with my football team, although now it's plaguing other people in my life.

The formula is this:

RETORT = "You're an x," where x is an inoccuous-seeming word from your victim's previous remark.

TEXTBOOK EXAMPLE FROM FOOTBALL GAME:

Wee Bob: Everyone, get back in position!

Dan: You're a position.

As well as destroying my team's morale with these churlish and infantile slurs, I'm not above employing them on my students, as 12-year-old returnee Takaaki found out:

Dan: I don't like that drink- it hurts my teeth.

Taka: That's cavities!

Dan: You're a cavity.

Taka: No I'm not.

(Note for those living outside Japan: a returnee is a student who has lived abroad. Like this little smartarse.)

Comments:
you should'nt put the real names, pisspants. you're a droll retort.
 
Strike three, twat- "Wee Bob" is not the player's name.

I'm so right, I ought to destroy you.
 
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